Jeff’s Post Retirement Musings

Jeff’s Post Retirement Musings

Well I have officially been retired for two weeks now. I thought I would share some of my musings and first impressions of retirement.

The first week didn’t really seem like retirement as Cathie and I took a quick trip out of town to celebrate July 4th and my retirement. We left the morning after my last day in the office and got back into town towards the end of the week so my first week of retirement just seemed like a week off for vacation.

The thing I have been told repeatedly about retirement by those already retired is that you will be busier than you were working and you will wonder how you got it all done when you were working. I’m not sure if that will ultimately be my experience but here is my experience thus far.

I attended my first company retirees’ luncheon. I was the only guy there and the youngest by a few years. I am going to have to get some tips and pointers on appropriate retiree discussions. The main topics of discussion were sharing of various physical ailments, whether we would get COLAs, gardening, and things that should be recycled. I had none of those on my retiree luncheon bingo card and was ill prepared for the ensuing discussions on these topics. Who knew that COLA meant cost of living adjustment and not a drink? The lunch location is chosen by alphabetical order of your first name which is more complicated than one would think as we have multiple members of our group sharing the same first name. My first motion will be to change this rotation to last name.

Cathie says that I have quickly become accustomed to eating during the senior citizen’s hour wanting to start or discuss what we will be having for dinner or where we will be eating by 5:00. The early birders actually have it all figured out. You beat the crowd, get the early bird/happy hour prices, and have the rest of your evening open.

Pickleball racquets and associated supplies are expensive. Come on guys, it’s basically a whiffle ball they colored yellow and an enlarged ping pong paddle. I thought I might get a Prime Day deal on a Pickleball set but they were $75 and more. I am proud to say though that I have my official pickleball outfit picked out (the guy at Dick’s Sporting Goods assures me that there will be no one else with my outfit on the pickleball courts).

A lot of people grow their hair out when they retire. If you know me that was never going to be an option unless we were talking nose or ear hair so I have shaved my head bald. I’ve become immersed in a whole new area of men’s personal grooming and hair care that I knew nothing about. When I got my head shaved at barber shop, the nice young barber said you want some alcohol to keep you from breaking out. I said sure, why not. Well, the why not is the scene from Home Alone where the kid yells like his face is burning off but it is a 53 year old man trying not to scream out in front of the kids who were waiting next to get their hair cut. My scalp is still kind of tender as I think the barber used some of his stash of pure grain moonshine instead.

I feel compelled each day to have accomplished something around the house before Cathie arrives home from work. So far I have succeeded and am sure to work into conversation what I did around the house each day. I’m a lot like a six year old who proudly tells/shows his parents what he did that day seeking acknowledgement.

I have grits for breakfast most mornings but with different variations. My latest variation I am considering is dressed eggs but with grits as the dressing topped with shrimp. Today I had a ten minute conversation with the butcher about our favorite ways to have grits. We are going out for breakfast next week.

I take a walk around the neighborhood each night. There is a dog along my route that watches for me each night and walks with me for part of my route. I am slowly meeting any neighbors I don’t know. I am in the loop now with all the neighborhood gossip.

I have started working on cleaning out my bedroom closet. I’ve read up on various approaches to tackling a closet cleanout. Some people say if you haven’t worn it in a year don’t keep it. Others say if it doesn’t speak to you, get rid of it. Some say if you don’t fit into it now, it’s unlikely you will fit in it ever again. So far my overarching premise has been, don’t get rid of anything I got at GoodWill and face the indignity of donating it back to GoodWill.

I have considered renting a dumpster in which to throw a bunch of stuff away but based upon the quotes I have received, it may be cheaper to fashion my own with pieces of metal I find on my nightly walk.

Next week I have three medical appointments. At least I will have something to talk about at the next retirees’ luncheon.

I’ve read three books (The Last Policeman, Blitzed, The Storyteller), watched three movies (Indiana Jones and Dial of Destiny, Extraction 1, Extraction 2), and added a shrimp and grits dish to my list of such dishes tried (Harpoon Harry’s – Pigeon Forge).

That’s it for now everyone. I got to go for my walk and find out if the new guy who moved in down the street really did appear on The Jerry Springer Show like Helen and Jake thought they heard.