Why is no one talking about the fact that baserunners in baseball now wear an oven mitt on their hand. How did this happen? Are they fitted for oven mitts in Spring Training? Jose, you look like you would be a size medium. Let’s get your measurements to be sure.
Do employers and families have any inkling that this week, that anyone who grew up playing college football on a video game console will be unavailable for the next week? For those of you who don’t know, on July 19th EA Sports is releasing a new version of its college football game. This is the first new version of the game in over 10 years. Anyone who grew up playing this will be in their virtual football facilities trying to get a 4-star nose guard from Montana to come to their university to be the final piece of a top 10 recruiting class. My sources tell me that the game is so realistic that if Brian Kelly changes coaching jobs, his accent also changes with him. If your employees or family members pre-ordered the game, they will be on leave from you three days earlier as pre-orders get the game three days before everyone else.
How do you figure out you would be good at competitive eating? Do you eat three hot dogs at a cookout and think, “you know, I think I could do this competitively”. Are there competitive eating talent scouts scouring the country’s diners and bars looking for the next Joey Chestnut?
Max Scherzer is a major league pitcher currently pitching for the Texas Rangers. However, his 2024 salary is broken down as follows due to previous contracts and trades: $22.5 million from the Rangers; $30.8 million from the New York Mets; and $15 million from the Washington Nationals. I guess the market is what the market will support but this is just silly. To be fair though, I too am owed quite a bit of delayed compensation I expect to receive in 2024. I am waiting on 2 cassettes from Columbia House Records, $40 in prize winnings from a 2015 fantasy baseball league, an IOU from Barry whom I lent twenty bucks at a Reds game, and three love coupons from my wife enclosed with her 2022 Valentines Day card.
I heard Coach John Calipari recently say that his players have garnered almost $2 billion dollars in contracts in the NBA. While his lack of recent on the court success likely led to him leaving Kentucky for Arkansas, it is hard to argue that he hasn’t been successful in getting young basketball players to the next level.
Reed Shepherd was drafted by the Houston Rockets in the NBA. He came off the bench under Coach Cal at the University of Kentucky this past season. While has only played so far in summer league games, in his first game Reed had 23 points, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 blocks, 1 steal, and a plus minus rating of +21. In his second summer league game, Reed had 22 points, 7 assists, 6 rebounds, 5 steals, 1 block, and a plus minus rating of +16. Does this mean Coach Cal is a genius? An idiot? Diabolical? Being blackmailed?
After many long-suffering seasons as a Cincinnati sports fan, it is refreshing to see the Bengals and FC Cincinnati have some success these last few seasons. I can’t even imagine what it must be like being a Boston sports fan. Since 2000, their professional sports teams have won 12 titles (6 for the Patriots, 4 for the Red Sox, 2 for the Celtics, and 1 for the Bruins).
I pre ordered the game, so wish me luck. I’m going to take West Omaha Polytechnic Institute to the College Football Playoffs.
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