AI Prompt: Write the third chapter in this short story. In this chapter, the Ship of Fouls team starts to play better baseball and starts moving up the standings. Have Henry try to generate interest in his team by reaching out to local media members who scoff at him once they realize he is managing a fantasy baseball team.
Chapter 3: The Press
The wind whipped through Henry’s unkempt hair as he paced back and forth in his overgrown backyard. A giddy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he recited the latest standings under his breath.
“Ship of Fouls…5th place…one game out of the playoffs…”
His precious analytical darlings were finally rewarding him for his tireless efforts. The eccentric strategies he had devised deep into the night – the Triple Quantrill pitching rotation, the WHIP-weighted lineup, the scoreboard-based hit-and-run triggers – had proven too brilliant to be denied.
Or perhaps his desperate mid-season trade for light-hitting, defensive wizard Nick Ahmed had finally tilted the defensive metrics in his team’s favor? Regardless of the precise catalyst, delirious joy blossomed within Henry’s chest.
His stride lengthened as he replayed recent highlights in his mind’s eye – Vlad Guerrero’s go-ahead grand slam, Sandy Alcantara’s 14-strikeout gem, Trea Turner’s cycle. Yes, his methods were unorthodox, but the laughing analysts and scoffing mainstream pundits would soon be choking on their flawed narratives.
Henry spun on his heel, charging back toward his home office. The fantasy baseball world may have tuned him out thus far, but he’d shove his team’s ascendant success directly into their cynical eyeballs. If the local media blowhards refused to recognize his managerial genius, he’d hand-deliver it through sheer force of passion.
Scooping up his phone, Henry furiously stabbed out a flurry of emails to every sports editor, podcaster, and TV beat reporter in a 50-mile radius.
“Analytical Trailblazer Transforms Cellar Dwellers Into Contenders!”
“Fantasy Baseball Renegade Bucks Conventional Wisdom!”
“Rutherfords Seek First Title Since ’94 Strike!”
Henry’s fingers flew relentlessly as he regurgitated narrative after narrative, each more grandiose and hyperbolic than the last. Surely at least one of these oblivious media mouths had to bite? He’d deliver his tactical manifesto straight onto their airwaves and bandwidth whether they wanted it or not.
After ensuring his last breathless press release pinged into a local reporter’s inbox, Henry sagged back in his office chair, chest heaving. He craved the vindication of shining a light on his hard-earned competitive renaissance.
But as the minutes ticked by in deafening silence, no replies materialized. Henry’s phone remained unnervingly still, no unexpected interview requests or comments populated his inbox.
A furious scowl twisted Henry’s features as the cold, bitter sting of rejection suffocated the euphoric high he’d been riding. The ignorant mainstream mouthpieces couldn’t even be bothered to acknowledge his team’s historic resurgence?
Disgusting apathy squeezed Henry’s heart as shades of red began clouding his vision. If the conceited analysts and pundits refused to broadcast his team’s genius rebirth into the world, he’d hammer it directly into their smug skulls.
Grabbing his car keys, Henry rose with grim determination. He would not be ignored any longer. It was time to awaken the fantasy baseball community through sheer brute force – after first prying their thick skulls from the archaic, numbers-allergic sand.
certifiable 
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